Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize