he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Couch. On fire.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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