Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
