we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
