yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
