her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
