Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
