I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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