I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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