i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
