she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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