Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
