You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
