Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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