I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
