We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
