he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
