ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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