Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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