Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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