i permit you to call me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my shit smells like andre
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait