I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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