I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
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a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
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yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.