marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
