meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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