Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
