she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
