With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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