Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
why do cheetos always look like penises
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
