It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize