I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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