So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
