Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
