i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
