we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
