Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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