Soap is not a condiment
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
