I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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