I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
