We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
