It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
