He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have tasted many bathrooms
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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