is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
