They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have already put on my inside pants.
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