I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
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You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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