I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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