You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
