Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
