She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
