I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
