i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
