There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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