no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just high enough for therapy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
