i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
