you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
