Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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