Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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