escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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