i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
