what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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