he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
