Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I will pee on everything he values.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
