I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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