You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
