I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
