You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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